I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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