It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
