im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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