I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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