It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
