She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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