The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize