The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
