pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My bed smells like the plague
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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