Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize