PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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