Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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