Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
