Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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