this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize