I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
