you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize