You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
