I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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