if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
