I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
