Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You're earring is so big in my mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
