I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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