Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
