i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
