that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
