she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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