Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
