If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Operation Purity has been aborted
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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