Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
