Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
