fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A+ Viking dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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