ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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