Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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