You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
