I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
