When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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