my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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