She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
