tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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