So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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