I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
