After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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