Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you win again, gameday.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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