i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
