I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
