He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
