at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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