Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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