??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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