Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
