she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize