I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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