you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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