I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
