Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she smelled like a LAN party
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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