New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize