You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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