Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
