so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
