You made me cry and you don't even care
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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